Learning To Fly (aka: Kicked Out Of The Nest)

I thought my life was so together. Things were finally feeling like they were where they needed to be...even feeling a  bit "secure" and then BOOM, a lot of very important things I believed to be true were completely demolished!  Here I am, feeling as if I am being asked to leave the safety of the nest and learn to fly. Only wait a minute, didn't I JUST do this?  I quit my secure day job of 10 years 9 short months ago! Hadn't I said "yes" to the deep yearning and need inside of me to help create this studio? Surely that was my big "leaving the nest" moment. Apparently this was just act one.

In act two it feels like the Universe is giving me a very big nudge out of my safety zone. From what I can tell I am being asked to finally come out of my shell and be truly authentic and no longer play it safe or small. I am being asked to do stuff on my own and make decisions based on what I feel is right not because of how it might look to a certain few; maybe to even make stuff up as I go along. It is time for me to truly find my own voice and live from that strong place that lies deep within all of us but is very seldom trusted.

This is how it with process painting. This is what is slowly being cultivated inside of me each time I meet my painting. It is a trusting of what wants to be created even when it doesn't make sense or looks terrible in that moment. Painting asks me to go with it anyway and leave the security of my analytical mind. What I am only now discovering after 15 years of practice, is that there are still several layers in me that are  being unearthed. Nine months ago when I quit my job, I felt like I was 100% authentic and honest with myself and that I had finally "arrived". I thought the strong and true inner me was taking over and that was that. What I realize now is yes, that was a bit of her, but this excavation is a process...it takes time. It is an ever-evolving understanding with myself that informs the next step. The more I practice present moment awareness through painting, the deeper I go.

So, what have I been shown lately? Nothing much. Just that I have had the voices of important others guiding my actions. Voices that have been so integrated and so subtle that they have passed as my own  for far too long. And now the Universe sees that I am ready for more even though I don't feel it or trust it. Well, maybe I do. But it is really scary! This time I don't risk just being out of a job.This time the risk is on a much deeper level and includes people not liking the real me, the one  who wants to step out of the shadows and run the show. This time I risk possible failure at the one thing I truly believe in - creating a safe home for the painting process.

When we paint in the studio it is a safe environment. There is no judgement about what or how we create. No comments are allowed and we paint in the silence. It is secure and supportive and designed this way so that we feel safe to let  things come out that we wouldn't normally risk showing in our daily lives. It is a place to build courage. But now I believe I am being asked to do this ALL the time. The last week or so has shown me it is time for me to share my own voice and trust my inner guidance. It is time for me to leave the nest and learn to fly...again. Only this time when I land I will be in the nest I built and on my own.

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Join us for a special upcoming retreat combining process painting and restorative yoga: 

Restore Your Soul & Learn to Fly: A Daylong Retreat
Saturday, June 16, 2012
10:30 am - 4:30 pm
View more details...

How Do We Fool Ourselves?

April Fools! We all know a prankster or two in our lives who loves nothing more than to "get us good" at least once this time of year, or maybe you are that trickster. No matter who it is playing the prank, April Fool's Day is a wonderful time to celebrate laughter and surprise.

Of course, it did get us thinking ... Sitting around the table at the studio with fellow painters, a conversation about April fools quickly turned into a full on heart-to-heart about how we can fool ourselves. We realized this juicy query of how we trick ourselves wanted to be explored further.

Ask yourself ... Are you living a lie for someone else? Are you telling yourself that you can't do something? Or that you need to look a certain way? Or that you need a special-something or -someone to be happy? Have you said "no" to something big? Is the job you're in what you want or what others wanted for you? What would you do today if there were no consequences?

Perhaps an occasional dive into the deep inner landscape is just what we need to trick our own inner fool.

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Going Deeper:

This month on April 14th we will host a day-long workshop of painting, restorative sound with Karen Folgarelli and a writing exercise that will help us to uncover the ways of the trickster mind. It promises to be a fun and revealing day, working side by side with our inner fool!

Find out more...

A Revealing Conversation

We were recently interviewed by the fabulous Rev. Heidi Alfrey on the Unity Online Radio show Let's Get Naked: Revealing Our Authentic Selves, and how perfect when we're talking about painting for process and finding our authenticity?

In case you missed the original broadcast "Notice the Nectar and Let Life Be Juicy!" on March 19, 2012, we invite you to take a listen to our scrumptious conversation about painting and life...

Meeting Our Judge

Why is it that sometimes painting for process feels less flowing and more like a difficult task? Often fueling those less-pleasant experiences is a pesky little voice hiding out in the back of our heads. You may know the voice ... It says things like "That looks terrible. You're not an artist--What do you think you're doing?!?" It tears us apart with hateful words that we would probably never unleash on another person, and yet the voice incessantly fills our minds. And what's worse--we sometimes BELIEVE it.

One of the seeming-miracles process painting is that we get to glimpse an insight that can forever change our lives. Like practicing meditation, we can gain awareness of the subtle voices we carry around with us, and with attention we notice them, label them, and then do something extraordinary ... we let them be. In other words, we don't buy into what they're saying. We don't let the voice of limitation win anymore.

Sometimes it's helpful to imagine what this judging voice would looks like if it took a physical form, and then invite it into your painting. It may look like a monster, or a strict parent, or a religious figure, or it may even look like a ridiculous frog trying so hard to taunt you! Often times when we bring it visually into the painting, the voice subsides or disappears altogether.

Where does this judging mind come from? It's helpful to remember that we develop internal voices as survival mechanisms. These voices, as nasty as they may be, are actually trying to protect us. Rather than meeting outer harm and criticism, we attempt to judge ourselves first. It probably developed as a strategy from a very early age. But the question is: Is it still serving us now?

We invite you to notice the next time your inner commentary is rattling off and to ask yourself with curiosity "Who is this speaking?" What does it look like? Is it a clown, or a frog, or maybe a parent? See what happens when you bring compassion to that voice, and at the same time respectfully decline to buy into its story. You might find yourself surprised by the outcome.

Letting Go To Make Space For The New

Something about Spring enlivens us with a feeling of unlimited potential and a sense of expansiveness. Each year this expansiveness encourages us to ready our garden by breaking up soil and planting seeds that will produce the bounty of Autumn's harvest. We've been mulling things over all Winter long, deciding what to plant in this Springs bed. We've had many months indoors to figure out what didn't work last year and what new things to try this time around.

Just as we are led to prepare our garden's soil each year, so too is the subtle urge deep inside us to make room for what wants to be born from within. Our interior garden's earth must be tilled in order for new ideas and dreams to emerge. Sometimes the old needs to be shaken up a bit in order for the new and fertile ground waiting below to have its chance.

Spring arrives in a few short weeks and the studio will be throwing her own garden party. The second Saturday in March will be dedicated to tilling our inner garden with a day-long workshop of process painting, writing and healing sounds geared toward letting go of what no longer nourishes us, in order to make way for the new.

Are you ready to let go of that which holds you back so that you can receive even more? Perhaps the invitation to "play in the dirt" resonates with you. When you clear the way for the new, unlimited possibilities exist. Let's paint!

Letting Go: A Daylong Workshop for Release
Saturday March 10th
10am - 4:30pm
$80 Includes all materials

We will use painting for process - a tool for expression without technique or judgement - along with journaling to explore and reconnect with our truest nature. Special guest Karen Folgarelli will treat us during the afternoon session with vibrational sound therapy using zither harps which cleanse, uplift and de-stress with the frequencies of restoration. You will feel expansively renewed in this warm and welcoming space!

Say "yes" to you! Space is limited to 10 participants. Sign up is required before March 8th
To reserve your spot call :816-550-6728  or email creativenectar@hotmail.com 

With Or Without Paper

This week I received some rather rattling medical news and although the biospy results are not back yet,it is possible a lesion on my arm was a form of skin cancer. Most of my life this sort of information would only have been shared with a few close friends and family... but I am changing. I know that more than ever the painting process is helping me to navigate through deep,strange waters and I want to share this with as many people as possible. I want to share because I know how this process is impacting my life and maybe it could help someone else too.

Lately, it would seem, I have been repeatedly asked to sit with not knowing what something is, where it is going and seriously NOT liking how that feels. How funny (?) that this is EXACTLY what is happening in my current painting. The images coming this time have felt murky and heavy. They are less familiar to me and so there is a feeling of discomfort whenever I disengage from the process. It has been a great challenge just to show up in front of the painting and be with what wants to come. I would much rather tear it off the wall and start something new and familiar. But I don't. I stay. I feel and I paint. The times I am fully engaged in painting and choose to breathe with the moment and the color connecting from brush to paper are what keep me coming back. And these moments are what get me through not knowing what is going to happen next in my life when I'm not painting.

Sitting in the exam room at the doctor's office,I remember the studio and how it feels to be fully present in my painting with the sun shining through the window and the feel of the brush in my hand. I understand again that life can be like a painting. I may not know where it is leading or even what it is. The images may be unfamiliar and scary to me and that's ok. I notice everything in the moment and decide to practice not getting caught up in thoughts about things that haven't even happened yet. I take a deep breath and notice as I exhale.

This process has helped me through the toughest times of my life. Painting has taught me how to stay and remain present through my mother's five year fight with Alzheimer's disease and my father's rapid death from cancer. There were times I would worry about the next step of the disease with my parents wondering if I would be able to make it without crumbling. When I chose to be present with what was unfolding, miracles happened. Laughing with my father as we all sat on his bed the night of my birthday 4 days before he died, I chose to be present. I found true joy in our conversation and realized maybe for the first time how brillant and blue his eyes were.

There is a sweetness that happens when you let go and surrender to what is. I know for a fact without painting in my life I would have missed  some of the most important moments with my parents in their final weeks and years. Painting has given me a tool I can use with or without paper. Painting has taught me courage and peace in present moment awareness.

Falling in Love With Yourself

As we approach the Valentine's season, some questions we'd like to ask you are: Do you remember what brings you joy? Do you know what wholeness feels like?

The Valentine's holiday has become so commercialized and can also feel so yucky if you're not involved in a romantic relationship. But there's another kind of "love" that does not involve buying things or seeking a special someone who fills the missing pieces of our lives. We're referring to the Love that is true and eternal, that we experience when we return to ourselves and discover our true nature. That Love is not dependent on other people or outer circumstances; it is the natural joy that arises when we are fully present to ourselves and our present-moment experiences.

We invite you to say "yes" to you and carve out a little time this month to give back to yourself. In fact, we've planned a daylong retreat Saturday, Feb. 11, 2012 to help you feel pampered as you nurture, restore and unlock your creativity.

We will use process painting along with journaling to explore and reconnect with our essence. And special guest Karen Folgarelli will treat us during the afternoon with vibrational sound therapy using zither harps, which cleanse, uplift and de-stress with the frequencies of restoration. You will feel renewed and inspired in this warm and welcoming space.

Whatever your plans involve in the coming weeks, we hope they include something that nourishes your heart and soul and brings you the joy that lasts. When you fall in love with yourself, you fall in love with the world!

Namasté,

Jen & Steph

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Falling in Love With Yourself

A Day-long Retreat at Creative Nectar Studio

Saturday, February 11, 2012

10 am-4:30 pm

$80
More information at our Facebook event page.

Email us at creativenectar@hotmail.com to reserve your spot (Sign-up required by Feb 9th. Limited to 10 participants.)

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